“SELF- REALISATION”
It was preordained .The date and the time. The master had himself proclaimed the previous morning at assembly time. Today was Nirvana for Anand. All the years of toil and routines, discipline self-control and mastering the art of self denial was to finally culminate in a climax. It was something that Anand dreamt of since he was a child. No material pleasure could satiate him. Indulgence seemed to ignite a newer more profound desire which would finally lead to frustration and despair. As his hormones transformed his innocence into lust, the situation seemed to worsen. The more he tried to satiate the flames of passion the more they seemed to leap up with an all consuming threat. His mind was full of strife and he would spend hours on end late into the night wondering why was he born? What was the purpose of his life? This could go on no longer. Something had to be done.
That was when he happened to come across the writing of the master. Profound but simple, gentle but very direct. He felt that what he read served as balm to his embittered and restless mind. The master would definitely guide him to his destination.
So at the age of 16 he left home and proceeded to the world of asceticism.
The first few days of rituals and discipline were a bit hard to incorporate, but there was always the moral high ground that made these meaningless drills palatable.
The Master is a realized soul is what Anand seemed to conclude. Their first meeting was
Memorable, The Master asked him a few questions about his background. Then he wanted to know the purpose of Anands decision to get initiated into the Niraakar tribe.
To which Anand replied “To achieve self –Realisation”
The master had a smirk on his face which made Anand very skeptical. Maybe he did not have what it takes to get “moksha”. The Master then briefed Anand about the routine and also passingly remarked that Anand would take precisely 6 years and 8 months to get to his final goal. That was rather surprising thought Anand. What makes this person so sure about my commitment, my progress and my destiny?
But spiritualism begins where reason ends, so Anand nodded in acceptance to what the Master spake.
Thereafter not a word was mentioned about Moksha. Senior colleagues who graduated from the monastery post their ‘self realisation’were instructed not to bias any of the juniors with their experience of Moksha. and he was never seen again in the precincts of the Monastery.
Time did go by rather fast and very soon the day Anand was waiting for was just a few hours away. There was excitement brimming over in Anands mind. At last the moment of realization was round the corner.
At the crack of dawn, Anand woke up with a deep sense of anticipation..
He was robed in a warm, soft silk wrap as part of the protocol.
He was then led to the masters chamber, which had a soft fragrance and a certain stillness
which seemed to be a precursor of what was to follow.
Anand genuflected before the Master. The master was in some sort of a trance and seemed unaffected by Anands presence.
After a very disconcerting silence he signaled his disciple to be seated.
The anticipation was now at a crescendo.
The Master spoke-“ What have you come for today?”
“To seek self-realisation Master” , Anand replied.
But a state of wanting or desiring anything is not an attribute of a renunciate ?
“Yes Master.”
Then how will you get liberated when your mind is lustful for a state of mind?
But master –that is what was predicted by you and what I desired seemed very noble ,not sensual? So why do you call my mind lustful for desiring Moksha?
You identify Moksha as the mind set where there is no desire left but you desire that mind set. Is this not paradoxical?
This argument stumped Anand.
Then spoke the Master - Moksha is a state where there is no attachment. Desire springs from attachment. Your attachment to Moksha is the biggest hurdle you have to deal with. When you detach from Moksha you will be liberated.
But Master how can I detach from Moksha?
You cannot detach from it because there is no such state or thing as Moksha,.
But if there is no such thing as Moksha ,how can I get Moksha?
The Master seemed unperturbed. He replied-
“Your education begins from today .By ‘realization’ what is implied in this monastery is realization of your ignorance. The question you asked me just now will enlighten you about your ignorance. Tomorrow you will leave the monastery and proceed to the forest. You are now a realized soul, replete with the most profound knowledge- ‘The knowledge of your ignorance”
Dr. Deepak Ranade
(The writer is a consultant neurosurgeon.) Email: drdeepakranade@gmail.com